Someone gave a prayer request on Saturday and, in it, mentioned that she’s not going to be here much longer.  The prayer request wasn’t about that and as far as we know, she’s healthy. In fact, she has a remarkable testimony about healing from cancer decades ago. For those reasons, people poked some fun at her about her little clause. But it made me instantly grab my “Be still and know that I am God” notebook and start writing, because I was already thinking.

I was asked this very question in a class in high school—what would you do if you had one week to live? I said a bunch of stuff: travel the world, hang out with all my friends, do XYZ. I distinctly remember hearing a girl in the audience say quietly to herself or no one in particular, “That’s a lot.” And I remember immediately thinking, “You’re right.”

This is half-cleaned up but mostly stream of consciousness from my journal. This is how I would live if I knew I had one week to live:

I would quit my job. It’s so cliché, but it’s true. Suddenly, time becomes precious.

If I knew when I was going to die, maybe I wouldn’t be so strict with my money. Maybe I would spend more freely.

I think I would speak everywhere I could about the love of God. I would write everything I know. All of it. I would produce like crazy. I would speak life into people; I would speak everything I see. When people find my words beautiful and encouraging, it’s me just literally saying what I’ve seen in them. This week every observation would fluidly manifest into words.

I would ask God what He wants me to do. I would check in with Him every hour, every minute to make sure I’m fulfilling His will. Not in a legalistic way, but in a “I want to please my Heavenly Father” way.

I’d make a book or make plans for my writing to become a book so that the truth and the applications of the truth that God has given me will live on and encourage others.

I would probably write all night if I knew I was dying tomorrow. I would give my sister, Briana, all the passwords to my computer, access to all my journals. Take them. Know me.

I’d give all my money and assets to Briana and the church. I’d make her the executor of my estate. I trust her judgment.

In the middle of my stream of consciousness, I suddenly can’t believe that my Aunt Gina, pictured, is gone. A loving, generous, beautiful and Godly woman, she passed away from breast cancer when I was 16; her passing immediately became a pivotal part of my life.  I wonder when she realized she was going to die. I can’t believe that I watched her die. I literally did not believe it. But I guess the most important thing is that I watched her live. I think about her now, especially now with this new season in my life. I watched the book close, but I watched it be written. And where her book ended, a new chapter for me began. MAN. I cannot with Jesus! He is truly sovereign.

If I knew when I was going to die, chains would have to be broken. My hesitance my fear, my closed mouth and cautious ways. They would all have to be demolished for me to live out loud and boldly for Jesus Christ. I would have the hard conversations, lovingly, but most importantly, fearlessly. I would boldly proclaim the truth because I’m going to die and the truth is where I’m going. It’s my only way. My plane is boarding to take me to eternity and, like Dr. King, I can see the Promised Land. I cannot lie to you and tell you that it doesn’t exist. I can’t say that you on your own are enough to get there. I can’t pretend that I am enough. I have to tell you about Jesus Christ and His unconditional love for you, His historic sacrifice for you. I have to tell you to repent because the kingdom of God is at hand. That I know this because He said it and that’s where I’m going next. I’d be dying; I’d have no reason to lie to you.

I would be sad. I would miss my family and be affected by their feelings. I would leave instructions—the first and most important one is to follow God. He’ll give the rest of the instructions, like what to do with my legacy which is actually just a podium for His glory.

Life on fire for God—that’s what would characterize my last days if I knew I was dying. That fire would burn away all the fear, hesitance and insecurity that made me a safe Christian. And they would freely burn away because the largest promise, the promise of being together with God in His glory would soon come to pass. I would see God.

I bet some last minute doubts would try to sneak in. The devil would absolutely try to get some final shots in before I am with God in His Presence, thus rendering me completely untouchable for the rest of existence. Doubts like: “Is God really real?” Is there really a Heaven?’ “Am I sure I’ll make it?” “What happens to me when I die?” “Will it hurt?” “Did I do everything God told me to do?” “If He really loved me, why would He kill me right now?”

Things like that that try to set themselves up against the knowledge of Jesus Christ, the knowledge that God has spent my entire 25 years teaching me so that I could teach it to others. I would overcome them with prayer, the way I did everything before then, and with the truth of God’s Word. Jesus said that He loves me and would never forsake me, that He’s gone to prepare a place for me and that if it were not true, He would have said so. He’s not a man that He should lie. I’d be able to confirm for you in a few days if you can really take Him at His Word.

Maybe this sounds like a lot. But it’s more focused than my high school answer. Because it’s just one thing: with my last week, I would live for God the way I was always supposed to. I would do it tirelessly because my rest is coming; I would do it fearlessly because my Strength is upon me and I would do it joyfully because my Saviour is with me and I would soon be with Him face-to-face.

I think being that close to the supernatural would give you supernatural everything: strength, love, peace and wisdom. The promise is your fuel. Its proximity is tangible. It’s drawing you. It’s encouraging you. It’s already fitting you. It’s wonder. It’s joyous. It’s inexplicable. It’s light. It’s filling. It makes you whole.

It’s Jesus and life with Him. He’s life. With Him, there is no death.

If I had a week left to live, I would live the way that I was created to live—free, bold, hopeful and completely in love. I’ll start today.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”—John 10:10

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How would you live if you knew you had one week left to live?